As a parent, we’re often so used to running on autopilot that we rarely ever even stop to think about why we’re doing something. We just continue to do it mindlessly, day after day after day. Take, for instance, the gazillion and one loads of never-ending laundry and the gazillion and one loads of multiplying dishes that we wash. Honestly, where in the world does it all come from??!! Lately, I’ve been wondering how FOUR measly people can generate so much dirty shit??!! Well, last night, I finally figured it all out.
Let’s start with the laundry. Like many of you, I do a load (or ten) of kids’ clothes every single day of every single week. Yet, somehow, I find an overflowing laundry hamper every time I open one of my kid’s closet doors. It’s like it’s reproducing in there or something. I mean, I know I’m in a fog half the time, but I’m pretty sure that my children aren’t wearing fifteen different outfits a day.
Turns out that my careless little wonders are actually PUTTING CLEAN CLOTHES into their laundry hampers. Yes, that’s right, folks — CLEAN CLOTHES. You see, when they’re grabbing a shirt off a hanger and another shirt falls onto the floor, they apparently assume the fallen garment is then in need of washing, thus doubling the size of the dirty clothes mountain. UH, HOLY HELL TO THE NO!!!!
And then there’s the dirty dishes. I swear there never ever seem to be any clean kids’ cups available to use!!! I run the dishwasher on the daily, and people are still in search of a plastic freaking cup. Well, evidently, my dear sweet offspring and their friends are GETTING OUT A NEW CUP EVERY TIME THEY NEED A DRINK OF WATER. It often looks like the aftermath of a fraternity party with all the cups lined up on my kitchen counter by the end of the day.
Clearly, something needs to change. We’re supposed to be preserving our environment, not destroying it one dirty shirt/cup at a time. The only real solution I can come up with is to become a nudist family who drinks straight out of the sink tap. Anybody got any better ideas? Cause I’m certainly all ears….