Suck It, Mother Nature

wire hangers

I’d always thought that Mother Nature and I kind of had a connection — you know with the whole “mother” thing and all.  But I’m really starting to think that she’s falsely assumed her title because no mama in her right mind would make it so damn cold outside that kids are off school and trapped indoors for days on end.  I’m actually starting to picture her all crazed and smeared in white facial cream, holding a wire hanger above her head.

And yeah, I’m fully aware that I live in Chicago, and our winters are notorious for sucking big time.  However, we can normally get out and at least play in the snow a little bit.  But if we tried to roll around and make snow angels in THIS frigid air?  Well, we’d turn into human popsicles within minutes.

So we’ve been cooped up like chickens, ready to peck out each other’s eyeballs.  Because it seems that there is absolutely “nothing to do” here, even though we have an entire basement full of kid crap.  My kids’ favorite pastime activity over the past few days has been YELLING EVERY SINGLE WORD AT THE VERY TIP TOP OF THEIR LUNGS.  It’s super fun.  And not at all annoying.

I guess old Mother Nature never saw “The Shining” because we all know what too much together time can do to a person.  Cabin fever is just not at all sexy.  So the arctic blast needs to move on out because we’re in total survival of the fittest mode at this point.  I will either be an alcoholic or a 500 pound couch potato soon because that’s about all that’s keeping me going.  From now on, I’m just gonna refer to her as “Ms. Nature” because she’s clearly not a part of the Motherhood.

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2 Responses to Suck It, Mother Nature

  1. nuckingfutspapa says:

    I thought you were going to say “Ms. Nature, bc you’re nasty.” 🙂

  2. Ally says:

    It’s been crazy. I can’t imagine what you all are going through. Not so much the snow, the cold, but the being cooped up in your homes with your children getting cabin fever for days on end. EEEEEK!

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