** If I looked like David Beckham, I’d be naked ALL the time.
** I’m a firm Belieber that Justin needs a big ol’ time out.
** Scooping dog turds in the frigid air should earn one a reward of some kind.
** Falling off the workout wagon is easy. Getting back on it is not.
** The happiest place on earth would be a whole lot happier if it sold liquor and gum. (No offense, Walt.)
** If my tires and/or sanity survive the potholes of Chicago winter, it’ll be nothing short of a damn miracle.
** I may or may not owe one or all of you a text, an email, a phone call or a tweet.
** Living out of a suitcase ranks right up there with living out of a laundry basket.
** Nobody accepts responsibility for their farts in this house.
** The kitchen table has once again become a graveyard of crap.
** We are only 147 days away from Summer 2014, but who’s counting?
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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