Things I’ve Learned This Week


** Whoever declared the recorder a “musical” instrument was obviously deaf.

** The UPS man has left more on my porch lately than the squirrels have.

** Slow drivers should really just stay the hell out of all the holiday hustle and bustle.

** Christmas would be a lot less stressful if money did, in fact, grow on trees.

** When all the liquor at your grocery store is 30% off, it’s a pretty darn good day.

** It’s SUPER FUN when each of your kids comes home from school with yet another gingerbread house for the dog to eat.

** Remembering things is evidently not one of my talents this month.

** I will likely start craving brains for dinner any day now since my zombie transformation is just about complete.

** Christmas cookies are clearly made of sugar and crack and everything whack.

** Letting your kids open just one little gift the week before Christmas is like giving a ravenous bear just one little bite of the steak you’re dangling in front of him.

** ‘Tis the season for meltdowns, road rage, and assholes.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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2 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Tiffany says:

    Loving the things you learned! I totally agree, God does not give us more than we can handle, but it the load tends to get pretty heavy. Found you on Bloggy Moms! Merry Christmas!

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