Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in? Give ’em some markers, and they were entertained for HOURS, barely costing you a thing. My, how times have changed in our house! The wish list for Santa has become off-the-charts expensive, and I fear that Mrs. Claus is gonna have to start turning tricks to be able to help pay for it all!
And you know who I blame? Technology! While it definitely has its perks, technology has totally screwed us parents at holiday time. Cause I don’t know about you, but I am not aware of too many gadgets that are particularly cost-effective these days. And my kids seem to want ALL of the gadgets at once because they claim that “Santa can make ANYTHING!” (Boy, did we ever eff up that situation.) And don’t even get me started on all the commercials that are practically brainwashing our kids into thinking all these things are as necessary as the air they breathe….
So let’s just do a quick paraphrase of my kids’ wish lists, shall we? (And remember to go ahead and multiply it all times two because of the whole twin thing — except for the ping pong & pool table because obviously.)
** iPhone 5C
** MacBook Air
** Mini iPad
** Xbox One
** Xbox One games (all of them, thank you very much)
** Pottery Barn Kids desk
** Pottery Barn Kids lounging chair
** Ping pong table
** Pool table
Now by my calculations, that all adds up to about a gazillion dollars. Needless to say, my wee ones will most certainly NOT be getting all that their little hearts desire this Christmas. Santa may just be recommending that they up their lemonade stand frequency to help fund their unbelievably lavish cravings. Or, for shits and giggles, he may leave behind an empty cardboard refrigerator box just to see what happens….