** It takes me three WEEKS to recover from three NIGHTS of going out.
** If you’re ever questioning your parenting abilities, turning on “Mommy Dearest” will make you feel like Mother of the Century.
** I really wish my UPS man was cuter.
** My son wants to wear shorts all year long. We live in Chicago. This could be a problem.
** Losing your place while reading a Harry Potter book to your kids on the Kindle Fire is an EPIC FAIL.
** They’re apparently selling a $2.5 million “Fantasy Bra“, which is yet another reason why I’ll never be a damn Victoria’s Secret model.
** Thinking doesn’t really seem to be my strong suit these days.
** After all this time, my kids STILL haven’t learned that cleats are OUTDOOR shoes.
** It’s kinda hard to eat soup with a fork.
** Creating a DIY Halloween costume makes me feel like Martha Stewart. With wine. And less prison time.
** Goatdog is clearly NOT a fan of Raggedy Ann. Or her scary, red yarn hair.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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