Insomnia: My New Best Friend


     I am quite certain that I could very easily be mistaken for one of the zombies in MJ’s “Thriller” video today.  After the night I had last night, I must look like dead woman walking.  And no, it did not involve any margaritas, thank you very much!  My husband was out of town, and for some reason, I can never sleep well when he’s gone. Insomnia becomes my new best friend, and I hear every little pop and creak throughout our entire house all night long.  And since our house was built in the late 1800’s, we have A LOT of unidentifiable pops and creaks, let me just tell ya.

     I thought I was starting off on the right foot by crawling into bed fairly early with a good book that I’ve been wanting to read forever (The Shack). But after about three or four pages, I could barely keep my eyes open. When I shut the lights off and tried to drift away, though, my mind had VERY different plans for me.  Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a million thoughts, so instead of counting sheep, I was counting all of the things I needed to get done the next day.  No matter how much I tried to push out thoughts of my impossible-to-achieve “to-do” list, I kept thinking of more items to add to it.  

     And to add fury to the fire, I recently switched deodorant and now have some kind of irritated bump on my right armpit as a result.  It hurts like a son of a bitch, so sleeping on my favorite side is not really an option at this point.  As much as I tried to get comfortable on my left side, it just wasn’t working for me.  I am a right side girl through and through and felt like I was going against all that is pure and good in the world by switching things up like that.    

     And as if I didn’t already have enough distractions, I also kept thinking that I heard footsteps in the hallway right outside my bedroom door.  It was seriously freaking me out.  My husband swears that we have a ghost in our house, so I was convinced that this so-called apparition was trying to mess with me.  I was certainly not in the mood to be spooked.  I desperately needed my sleep and was ready to kick any spiritual punk booty that got in my way.

     Somehow, some way, I apparently must’ve managed to finally fade away at some point.  I couldn’t have been sleeping for more than a half an hour, though, before I was startled awake by a faint cry of “Mommy!”  I lay there for a minute, praying to God that I was dreaming, but then I heard it again, only louder.  “MOMMY!!!!”  Nope, not a dream.  I dragged myself out of bed and down the hall to see what was soooooo important that I had to be jerked out of my hard-earned slumber.  The highly crucial reason for this very unwelcome interruption was that my son was thirsty.  Unbelievable.  I had tossed and turned, made additions and subtractions from a very detailed “to-do” list, mentally battled a ghost in the hallway, and agonized through armpit pain and suffering all to be awoken for a freaking drink of water?!! But as all good mamas do, I took several deep breaths and calmly walked my son to his bathroom to get a sip of water and then tucked him back in bed with a kiss.  I then went back to my insomnia haven and stared at the ceiling for the next several hours.

     What has happened to me?  Have I forgotten how much I LOVE sleep?  I saw one of those Ambien t.v. ads this morning, which obviously caught my eye.  I contemplated whether or not I might need some type of sleeping aid. Shortly thereafter, though, I saw a commercial for a news show with the latest Michael Jackson death investigation details, and I shook that idea right out of my head.  I don’t like being looped out on pills — just one Benadryl makes my head feel like it’s on the teacup ride at Disney World. I’m keeping my tired fingers crossed that I’m so exhausted tonight, that I just literally pass out when my head hits the pillow.  If not, I certainly have enough things “to do” around here that I can easily keep myself busy all night. I’m holding out hope for the former….

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6 Responses to Insomnia: My New Best Friend

  1. jane says:

    remember in college when you used to be able to sleep until at least 2 in the afternoon? or was that just me?

  2. Jasmine says:

    Poor NFM!

    Some suggestions for you:
    1. Take the benadryl. A very kind pharmacist told me it was better and safer than a sleep aid but will only work for 3 nights.
    2. Leave the lamp on. When my husband’s gone, I can’t sleep either & it seems like I am sooo tired until I turn the lamp off.
    3. Keep a spiral by the bed. For those pesky to-do lists that attack all of us at bedtime.
    4. Some very nice neighbors told me they go to sleep with the tv on when the hubby’s not home. It has worked the few times I’ve used it.
    5. Go to the doctor!
    I think you & I are leading parallel lives as I also got a bump on my right armpit. I figured swollen lymph node & let it go, but it was entirely too irksome. Doc says it’s a cyst or something from shaving & gave me an antibiotic to make it go down b4 it gets big & has to be lanced (eww). started the ab’s on Friday & feel miles better today!!

    • mama2point0 says:

      Thanks so much for all the advice! I did take the Benadryl last night & slept through the night. However, I feel like my eyes are doing the Humpty Dance today from being so loopy. I will definitely try those other things the next time the hubby goes out of town. How oddly coincidental that you also have an armpit bump too! Mine is better today (I switched back to my old deodorant), but if it’s still there by Monday, I’ll call the doc. I’m glad yours is getting better. I want to thank you for always leaving me comments — I look so forward to hearing from you, & you very often just make my day! It’s nice to know I have someone to commiserate with! 🙂

  3. Jasmine says:

    You’re welcome!
    I love to read your blog! It is like an Edna Ferber or Nora Ephron lift to my day.

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