** I have approximately 0% of my time to dedicate to writing anymore.
** When someone says, “You look tired“, what they’re really saying is, “You look like shit.”
** For some reason, sitting around doing nothing all day makes you REALLY hungry.
** I can kill a fly with my bare hands.
** I may or may not be related to Mr. Miyagi.
** It’s a double-edged sword when you teach your kids what a dutch oven is.
** Carpools are so much better when someone else is driving them.
** I am apparently NOT a ninja. (Dammit!!!)
** You can really never have too many awesome t-shirts in your closet.
** My kids like to tell me things AT THE VERY TIP TOP OF THEIR LUNGS.
** Packing this family up for a road trip takes longer than the damn road trip.
** Spouses should be able to read your mind when it really matters.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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