** Mornings love me WAY more than I love them.
** This week’s heat wave has made being a nudist seem a whole lot more appealing.
** I get more stupid with every other Facebook post I read.
** If tickets were given for driving under the influence of kids, then I would totally lose my license altogether.
** Bite-size cookies are meant to be eaten by the handful. No?
** I’m (allegedly) the worst mother in the history of mothers for making my children shower every night.
** Rolling Stone evidently likes to make terrorists look like rock stars.
** My knowledge of technology continues to pale in comparison to my 10 year old’s.
** I’ve successfully gotten both my kids into watching HGTV. So clearly, I win.
** My twins would rather smell like ass than wear deodorant.
** I’m not a fan of how crazy fast the summer seems to be going.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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