** I guess I accidentally skipped a week of keeping track of what I’ve learned. Oopsy.
** The beach is truly my happy place.
** Soap operas really are unnecessary when you can just read your Facebook feed.
** Some of my kids’ actions might lead one to believe they’ve been raised by cave people.
** I continue to spend more time in my car than I do in my bed.
** You realize just how unfair life is when your husband Soul Cycles next to Bradley Cooper out in LA while you’re scooping dog poop back at home in Chicago.
** Justin Bieber needs a REALLY long time-out.
** The fruit fly invasion has evidently begun.
** It’ll be a miracle if my children still have teeth left after all the crap they’ve eaten this summer.
** Cocktails are so much better when somebody else makes them.
** A carpool full of B.O. rivals a carpool full of farts. Trust me on this one.
** I’ve completely forgotten what peace and quiet sound like.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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