** Hormones can bite me.
** The world needs a lot less know-it-all’s and a lot more chill pills.
** Sometimes it’s just easier to pretend like my house ISN’T a giant wreck of a mess.
** Paula Deen saying, “I is what I is“, must mean REALLY bad with grammar.
** 99.9% of my time is spent in my car.
** Things that seem like a good idea at the time hardly ever actually turn out to be.
** Adult zits are a cruel reminder of a time in our lives that most of us would rather forget.
** I actually wanna high-five the Supreme Court for taking a step forward in the right direction for a change!
** Nobody can clear a room quite like Goatdog and his ass fumes.
** When all else fails, act like you don’t know the people you’re with.
** We’re only two weeks in, and the summer is about to wear me out.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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