** It should at least count as working out if you wore your workout clothes all day long.
** When you wake up at 4 AM and think you smell someone making toast, it’s most likely just wishful thinking.
** Summer makes it pretty much impossible to concentrate.
** Googling pictures of spider bites is sure to make you feel like barfing.
** My parents really should’ve named me Chrissy Snow.
** Just because it’s called “Sidewalk Paint” does not mean it’ll be used on the actual sidewalk.
** Apparently, Kim Kardashian gave birth to a compass.
** Awesome neighbors make everything better.
** Two people in a hammock is tricky. Three people in a hammock is disastrous.
** My kids didn’t get the memo that I only like wine without the “h“.
** Two of the most infuriating words at this time of the year are “I’m” and “bored“.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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