It’s amazing to me how Goatdog and I can have such differing opinions of the UPS man. We’re talking complete opposite ends of the spectrum, people. I just so happen to LOVE a visit from the man in brown. I mean, he brings me wine and shoes and sassy new dresses — what girl wouldn’t love that??! Goatdog, however, absolutely LOATHES the dude with every furry fiber of his being. If given the opportunity, I have no doubt that he’d rip him apart like a freaking pinata.
Just the sound of the UPS truck itself sends the dog into an absolute tizzy fit. He goes full-on CRAZY-BALLS pacing and barking and trying to figure out a way to bust out of the house and attack. The jackass has completely destroyed the window sill on our front staircase trying to claw his way out:
And if I’m ever out on a walk with Goatdog when the truck just so happens to zoom by, my arm is practically amputated each and every time. I literally have to brace myself if I even hear the rumblings of the engine. If not, then I risk being dragged down the sidewalk like a damn rag doll. Honestly, if barks could kill, the UPS man would be deader than a doornail.
You can probably imagine the regurgitation of apologies that instantaneously spew from my mouth when Goatdog flips the hell out like this. I can’t help but be embarrassed and annoyed all at the same time. Cause I certainly don’t wanna piss off my beloved delivery man so much that he ends up “forgetting” to drop off my precious packages……