Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Mother’s Day should really be Mother’s Weekend.

** My brain is on MAJOR end-of-the-school-year overload.

** Warm weather just makes ya wanna eat ice cream.  (Or is that just me?)

** Some people should really reconsider making sex tapes.

** When someone sits down next to me at the beach & smokes in MY space, it makes me wanna get up & go over & fart in THEIR space.

** I could really use Morgan Freeman to lull my kids to sleep at bedtime.

** Birds purposely wait to take a shit until AFTER I’ve gone to the car wash.

** The world would be so much better off if we never had to see another picture of a pregnant Kim Kardashian in her damn bikini again.

** Rainy days and morons always get me down.

** Sometimes public castration seems to be the only reasonable punishment.

** I need a chauffeur. And a maid. And a chef. And a winning lottery ticket.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

<< SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

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4 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. I’d be happy to never see Kim K. in any kind of outfit ever. And who the heck smokes on the beach? Do they consider it their own personal ashtray? Idiots!

  2. Marta says:

    I also need a winning lottery ticket. Why don’t I have one?!

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