** Cramps and mammograms are just two of the many perks (*ahem*) of being a woman.
** I’d rather be a wrinkled mess than pull out an iron.
** Kids and husbands have very selective hearing.
** Getting in bed early to read a book didn’t kill me after all.
** Paying your offspring to do things you don’t wanna do is a win-win situation.
** Wine tastes so much better than NyQuil.
** The majority of the carpool line thinks their time is more valuable than anyone else’s.
** I really need an understudy.
** The floor is apparently a better coat rack than the coat rack.
** Eighty degrees one day and forty degrees the next is just flat-out CRUEL.
** You know you’re screwed when you can’t even remember to do the things you took the time to write down.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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