Goatdog continues to amaze me with the ridiculously crazy things he chooses to eat. Lately, he’s munched on everything from aluminum foil to snotty Kleenex’s. The more disgusting the item, the more appetizing it is to him. And the biggest lesson we’ve repeatedly learned from his bizarre eating habits is that if it smells like the dog stuck his head in the toilet, there’s a 99.9% chance that the dog has, in fact, stuck his head in the toilet.
Our most embarrassing experience with his toilet snacking tendencies involved an impromptu visit from a neighbor. Upon entering the foyer of our home, she was immediately greeted with big, wet, slobbery dog kisses. I mean, the dog’s beard was literally dripping with water. I apologized up and down and explained that Goatdog is a very messy water drinker, as I shooed him away from her. However, she insisted that she loved dogs and knelt down to his level, whereby he proceeded to give her a complete facial with his tongue.
We laughed and laughed and said how funny it was that she was now covered with dog spit as she bid me ado. But my giggly mood soon changed into sheer horror when I closed the door and saw the brown clumps of wet toilet paper strewn throughout the house. It turned out that my son had ONCE AGAIN forgotten to flush, and ol’ Goatdog had evidently helped himself to a little “afternoon snack“. Revolting, I know. I was totally and completely mortified (not to mention grossed out).
In fact, I was so embarrassed that I never actually had the guts to tell my neighbor the truth about the situation. I figured that she really didn’t need to know where Goatdog’s tongue had been prior to it cleaning her entire freaking face. Cause God knows, I sure wouldn’t want to know about it after the fact. It’s true, ya know — sometimes ignorance really IS bliss, isn’t it?