** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along. I knew it!!!!
** December is one giant money suck.
** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did “elf” shit.
** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.
** Living next to a house being torn down is a muddy pain in the pooper.
** It is constantly WAY past my bedtime.
** The weatherman is about as accurate as the media is with “breaking news“.
** It turns out that not everyone is an asshole after all! Who knew??!!
** Every single pair of my son’s pants have a friggin’ hole in the knee.
** I may or may not have accidentally sent out multiple Christmas cards to the same people. Oops.
** Super-chipped red nail polish just makes ya look like a hooker. (I speak from experience.)
** The Energizer Bunny needs to teach me all his tricks.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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