Things I’ve Learned This Week

** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef.  And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef.

** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime.

** A sick kid at home makes for an incredibly unproductive week.

** I’ve eaten so many damn holiday cookies that you should probably start calling me Santa.

** Telemarketing calls to my cell phone REALLY piss me off.

** My kids are just a little too skilled at turning the bathtub into a water park.

** December is the only month when I actually get excited to check the mailbox.

** When video game privileges are revoked, my son’s like a taxi driver without a GPS.

** So many people in this world need an “OFF” button for their mouths.

** Unfortunately, Goatdog prefers to puke on the rug instead of the hardwood floor.

** The sounds of laughter, NOT gunshots, are what little children should be hearing.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.  (At least I keep telling myself that anyway….)

<< SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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