** ‘Tis the season to be an asshole. Apparently.
** I am not the Energizer Bunny.
** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.
** Anything that’s lost is very likely at the bottom of my son’s backpack.
** I should really write a country song cause I’ve got the homework blues.
** Leaving your husband in charge of carpool is like playing with fire.
** I don’t trust people who feel the need to take up two parking spaces.
** Surprisingly, pumpkin salsa doesn’t suck.
** I actually kind of WANT it to snow. What???!!!
** Christmas presents should really learn to wrap themselves.
** December would be an excellent month to win the lottery. Or to rob a bank.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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