** When a fart rips through your yoga class, you can’t help but feel bad for the person who let it slip out.
** Glue guns and Google are two of the BEST inventions on the planet.
** My kids should have to pay labor costs for all the time I’ve put into making their Halloween costumes this year.
** Every day this week has seemed like Thursday.
** It’s once again time to brace ourselves for the inevitable whining that’ll come from yet another Taylor Swift breakup.
** I’ve managed to take tired and multiply it by infinity.
** People who call themselves “parenting experts” are really just “know-it-all’s“.
** Sandy is a super lame name for a hurricane. Just sayin’.
** Evidently, Donald Trump REALLY wants to see Obama’s report cards.
** Pole dancing means something entirely different and innocent to my daughter (and thank God for that!)
** If I don’t write it down, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna remember it.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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