** I’m beyond thankful I’m not married to a politician.
** Fun-size 3 Musketeers are downright dangerous.
** My ass is gonna beep when I back up if I don’t amp up my workout routine again soon.
** Cake decorating with your kids is a whole lot more fun when it happens at somebody else’s house.
** Sweetest Day is apparently tomorrow, and you know what that means. Absolutely nothing at all.
** The Tooth Fairy’s gonna have to turn to prostitution to pay for all the teeth these kids keep losing.
** I could really use some shots of Honey Boo Boo’s Go-Go Juice.
** Or a dull moment or two.
** Finding a petrified banana peel in your son’s room is not a very pleasant surprise.
** The back seat of my car looks like the aftermath of a raccoon party.
** Gravity can seriously suck it.
** Trying to trump last year’s Halloween costume has completely exhausted my last brain cell.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle. (At least, I keep telling myself that anyway….)
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