** It’s hard to have an adult conversation when you see your kid making armpit farts out of the corner of your eye.
** Crying over spilled milk is totally justified when it’s a mere millimeter from your laptop.
** If burping is the sign of a good meal, then snoring is surely the sign of a good massage.
** Scooping up elephant poo would be more fun than helping my daughter with her math homework.
** My iPod needs an ambush makeover.
** Although they make me feel older than dirt, I still like to watch the MTV VMA’s every year.
** Not even a celebrity can pull off a camel toe.
** It really doesn’t get any better than grilled corn on the cob.
** Goatdog is trying hard to rule the roost, so I guess that really does make him a cock.
** A day without laughing is like a cheeseburger without cheese.
** Back to School just wouldn’t be the same without a case of head lice in one or more classrooms.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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