** Seeing his grandma in the buff apparently doesn’t phase my son in the least.
** Hot flashes and sea sickness don’t mix well with a pirate ship cruise.
** And just because it’s a “pirate” cruise does not mean that Johnny Depp is on board.
** A sandbar is a big old wet playground of possibilities.
** My kids have decided their bedtime is never o’clock.
** Driving a jet ski is one surefire way to get a fast and furious salt water enema.
** There is nothin’ quite like a margarita on the beach.
** It’d be easier to take a couple of chimpanzees out to dinner than it is to take my kids sometimes.
** Never mess with a girl who’s packing a squirt gun and a noodle.
** The inhabitants of conch shells look eerily similar to vaginas.
** Overcooked bacon is not really a look I’m trying to achieve.
** Even when it’s a crispy 95 degrees outside, my kids still dig the hot tub. Go figure.
** Half the sand in Florida traveled back in our suitcases. Lucky for us.
** Returning to a leaky kitchen ceiling is a helluva coming home present.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.