Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I’m the only one here that seems to know that the floor is not a trash can.

** Shrinky Dinks may be the dumbest art project ever invented.

** I really don’t need to know WHY there’s a streak of poo on the side of the toilet.

** “Make Your Own Pizza Night” is really just my way of saying, “Fix Your Own Damn Dinner!!!

** The dog needs a serious dose of Xanax.  (So he can share some with me.)

** My daughter’s gym shoes smell like a skunk rolled in vomit.

** Removing a pan from the oven with a potholder hurts way less than with your hand.

** Ryan Lochte and his six-pack are full of all kinds of yumminess.

** Somebody invited ants to the party, and it sure as hell wasn’t me.

** A hazmat suit needs to become part of my wardrobe.

** My kids have more excuses than a cheating husband when it comes to bedtime.

** Being organized seems like a whole lotta work.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.


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6 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Rachelle says:

    You are hilarious!
    I am so not kidding! Thank you so much for making this blog. I have been going through some rough patches here lately and seeing your posts in my newsfeed always gets me laughing but this one is just priceless! LOL

    You remind me that laughter is needed on a daily basis and I just wanted you to know I appreciate that….
    I also appreciate that I am not the only one who discovers streaks of poo on the side of the toilet!! WTF is that about??

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Aww, thanks so much for your incredibly kind comment! It makes me happy to know that I’ve brought you some much needed giggles! I swear that if you don’t laugh your way through life, you’ll end up to be a grumpy old troll who lives under a bridge. So laugh away! Hope to keep you coming back for more! xo 🙂

  2. Scroogy says:

    I used to love Shrinky Dinks!! I didn’t know they were still available!

  3. Lauri says:

    If I homeschooled my children, I would end up a raging alcoholic!!

  4. Rhiannon says:

    So funny made my day

  5. Being organized is an eff ton of work! I spent my entire afternoon sifting through craft junk. I wanted to cry.

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