** Try as I may, I just don’t have the moves like Jagger.
** It’s best to look at the toilet seat before sitting down, at least in my house anyway.
** Clearly, my kids wait till I’ve just changed their sheets to pee the bed.
** Drinking cheap wine after having GOOD wine is like eating a sugar-free dessert.
** Stepping in gum is a great way to bring about homicidal feelings.
** Giving my kids a ten dollar bill for the concession stand is like giving a teenager a case of beer.
** Entirely too many people suck at parking.
** “Magic Mike” is calling my name. Don’t judge me, people.
** You know you need to step up your game when the pregnant lady in boot camp is kicking your ass in sprints.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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