Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Nothing says true love like having to ask your spouse how long you’ve been married.

** If a black cat runs in front of you, just pretend like it didn’t.

** Kids ask why even when they don’t give a rat’s ass about the answer.

** You know times are tough when Dee Snider is doing commercials for Stanley Steemer.

** Listening to a group of third graders talk with phony British accents is not at all annoying.

** Contrary to some people’s beliefs, the alley behind my house is NOT the Autobahn.

** Tom Cruise in “Rock of Ages” is like a dead fly in your soup.

** I could be a professional procrastinator.

** Feeding dinner to five crazy rugrats is wilder than Bourbon Street on Fat Tuesday.

** I’d bet money that there’s a squirrel mafia in my neighborhood.

** People who think they wrote the book on parenting are most likely oblivious to the fact that their kids are complete assholes.

** School cannot seriously be out for the summer in just two weeks, CAN IT??!!

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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5 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Pinky says:

    That a full mirror, over a double vanity breaks into a BILLION pieces when it falls…………………………..

  2. ChiTown Girl says:

    “** Tom Cruise in β€œRock of Ages” is like a dead fly in your soup.”

    THAT just made me shoot coffee out my nose! Funny cuz it’s true! I pretty much just had the same conversation this afternoon with my MIL. Unfortunately, she’s a Tom Cruise fan πŸ™ However, I’m impressed that she even wants to SEE Rock of Ages, since she turned 80 today!!

  3. stacy says:

    2 weeks… yeah mine have been out of school already for a week & it feels like a month!!! 13 wks of summer this year… oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  4. That card is the BEST! I am in denial about the last day of school. Luckily, I picked up a few extra large bottles of white wine when I was at Costco. Obviously.

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