** Sometimes turds just don’t want to be flushed.
** I really really heart selling jewelry.
** It’s a terribly bad idea to enter a bakery when you’re starving.
** Trying to brush my daughter’s hair in the morning is like trying to lasso a grizzly bear.
** If you leave dirty dishes on the counter all night, they evidently don’t wash themselves.
** Everything is better when a fort is involved.
** And when there’s WINE in that fort? Utopia!!!!
** The kids think they’re in charge.
** They sure as hell are NOT.
** A pool raft should be inflatable, NOT a giant Easter Bunny.
** Cupcakes should be eaten in multiples. Period.
** That smudge in the stairwell? It’s not dirt. It’s a booger. Which is awesome.
** A politician would admit that he’s crooked before my kids would admit that they’re tired.
** I desperately need a compass to point me in the right direction.
** Chucking a ball at your mom’s boobs is not as fun as it might sound. At least for your mom anyway.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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