Things I’ve Learned This Week


** Sometimes turds just don’t want to be flushed.

** I really really heart selling jewelry.

** It’s a terribly bad idea to enter a bakery when you’re starving.

** Trying to brush my daughter’s hair in the morning is like trying to lasso a grizzly bear.

** If you leave dirty dishes on the counter all night, they evidently don’t wash themselves.

** Everything is better when a fort is involved.

** And when there’s WINE in that fort? Utopia!!!!

** The kids think they’re in charge.

** They sure as hell are NOT.

** A pool raft should be inflatable, NOT a giant Easter Bunny.

** Cupcakes should be eaten in multiples.  Period.

** That smudge in the stairwell? It’s not dirt.  It’s a booger.  Which is awesome.

** A politician would admit that he’s crooked before my kids would admit that they’re tired.

** I desperately need a compass to point me in the right direction.

** Chucking a ball at your mom’s boobs is not as fun as it might sound. At least for your mom anyway.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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4 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. I wish everyone would understand that dishes left on the counter overnight certainly don’t wash themselves.

  2. Pinky says:

    That we are building a BEAUTIFUL new home and I couldn’t be more excited!!!! HOWEVER, along with that there is TONS of work to be done to purge this house, stage it for selling, sell it, and MOVE………………..

  3. Brett Minor says:

    No matter how many times your mother tells you that you are special, the rest of the world did not get the memo.

  4. Cassie says:

    These made me laugh! Especially the booger smudge.

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