** I could come home with a purple mohawk, and no one in my family would even notice.
** Some people evidently like to shop in their nightgowns. Who knew?
** My daughter equates me brushing her hair with Chinese water torture.
** I wish somebody would send ME to an “undisclosed location for rest and relaxation.” Just sayin’.
** Lemonade stands are a serious pain in my ass.
** It’s awesome when my husband’s ridiculously loud alarm clock wakes up everyone in the house EXCEPT my husband.
** I suppose these kids really do expect me to feed them every day.
** Watching a hawk stalk a chipmunk is pretty freaking cool, especially if you’re not a big fan of chipmunks.
** Pop-up ads can suck it.
** It’s yet another reminder of the sad, sick world we live in when your third grader tells you about the lock down they practiced at school in case of a “shooter.”
** “Taking a shower” seems to be way too low on the list of “Things To Do” lately.
** I feel so loved when my kids tell me they think they’re allergic to me.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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