** Not realizing your sports bra is too small until halfway into your run is nothing short of sucky.
** It took me way too ‘cussing‘ long to appreciate the awesomeness of “The Fantastic Mr.Fox.”
** Kids are a zillion times better at handling stress than adults are.
** I need to start carrying around a ladle to scoop Goatdog’s poop.
** Post-tonsillectomy breath smells like microwaved skunk ass.
** Motherhood is full of more gray hairs than Friday night Bingo.
** Snooki is supposedly pregnant, which means the end of the world really IS near.
** I could never be a couch potato cause all that sitting around is a literal pain in the ass.
** If I ever DIDN’T have an audience while peeing, I probably wouldn’t be able to go pee.
** I may be addicted to Solitaire Blitz on Facebook.
** I may also know how to REALLY waste my time.
** Either somebody painted rainbow-colored zig-zags on my walls or the cabin fever’s gotten the best of me.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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