Every year our “Elf on the Shelf” tradition brings me a combination of both nail-biting stress and pure giddy joy. I absolutely LOVE the excitement that he brings my kids, but the pressure to remember to hide that damn thing every night is like having to be the Tooth Fairy 24 straight nights in a row. I am forced to rely on my miserable, failing memory for three long weeks. And given that this may very well be the last year that my kids fully believe in the magic of Christmas, you can probably understand why I woke up my husband at midnight on November 30 to announce, “We’ve lost the mother fucking Elf on the Shelf!!!!”
You see, our elf, Clyde, comes to stay with our family on the first of December each year to keep a watchful eye over who’s being naughty and who’s being nice. My kids have come to expect his prompt arrival, which is why I flat-out panicked when I couldn’t find him among all the Christmas decorations on the last day of November. I literally tore apart the attic, basement and every single closet in the house in a desperate attempt to hunt down the miniature bastard. (Did I mention that this all went down at midnight, by the way?)
My search was, unfortunately, not at all successful. I went to bed that night with a pit in my stomach as I prayed to sweet baby Jesus that my kids would somehow forget to check the calendar the following morning. Lucky for me, Clyde was surprisingly not a hot topic of conversation at breakfast time. I was filled with relief at the promise of being able to race out that afternoon and purchase a brand new Elf on the Shelf.
And sure enough, wouldn’t you know that I found the original little fucker three days later jammed into a box of Halloween crap??!! Figures! At any rate though, the “magic” is still good and alive in my house (*Phew!*), and the new and improved Clyde would like to make a very special announcement right here on my blog. I give to you the two winners of my iTunes gift card giveaway contest:
If you happen to be one of these two AWESOME people, please send me your home address so I can mail your prize to you. And thanks to everybody who took the time to enter — Clyde and I are totally raising our wine glasses in your honor!