Things I’ve Learned This Week

** I don’t fit into an elementary school desk quite like I did back in the day.

** “Pocket Frogs” for the iPhone has totally possessed my kids.

** Dark chocolate has totally possessed me.

** Charlie Sheen finally realized that he was not, in fact, winning.  (Or so he says….)

** If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it — unless, of course, it’s the wine opener.

** “Because I said so” isn’t as effective as it used to be.

** There are way too many uptight people in this world.

** I need to make a list of all the lists I need to make.

** “Death by Homework” will likely be the title of my obituary.

** I may very well be going to Hell after bitching about an old lady’s driving skills who turned out to be a NUN.

** It would be all kinds of awesome if I could actually do the 10,000 things at once that my kids think I can do.

** My son keeps more crap in his bed than Hugh Hefner.

** I’m evidently raising aliens from a planet that requires no sleep whatsoever.

** Hot apple cider tea is my new fall treat to myself.

** These kids need to stop growing out of all their damn clothes every season!

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.


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One Response to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Gavin Shea says:

    I learned that when you build a giant slingshot to play angry birds with water balloons that you should not leave it out in your backyard while you take your wife to dinner and leave the kids with a babysitter…Sorry neighbors

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