** I don’t fit into an elementary school desk quite like I did back in the day.
** “Pocket Frogs” for the iPhone has totally possessed my kids.
** Dark chocolate has totally possessed me.
** Charlie Sheen finally realized that he was not, in fact, winning. (Or so he says….)
** If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it — unless, of course, it’s the wine opener.
** “Because I said so” isn’t as effective as it used to be.
** There are way too many uptight people in this world.
** I need to make a list of all the lists I need to make.
** “Death by Homework” will likely be the title of my obituary.
** I may very well be going to Hell after bitching about an old lady’s driving skills who turned out to be a NUN.
** It would be all kinds of awesome if I could actually do the 10,000 things at once that my kids think I can do.
** My son keeps more crap in his bed than Hugh Hefner.
** I’m evidently raising aliens from a planet that requires no sleep whatsoever.
** Hot apple cider tea is my new fall treat to myself.
** These kids need to stop growing out of all their damn clothes every season!
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
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