Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.

** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.

** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.

** I wouldn’t do well in that Little House on the Prairie.

** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT click the “Like” button.

** Dealing with a moronic pharmacy tech is about as much fun as a pap smear with a hot poker.

** School starts in T minus 648 hours — uh, not that I’m counting or anything.

** Hard-boiled eggs make your whole house smell like farts.

** I really REALLY want a hammock.  (Hint, hint…..)

** My to-do list is reproducing more than the Duggar family.

** Taking your kids to the grocery store is like taking a junkie to a crack den.

** Someone evidently stole my happy place.

** Nobody likes a know-it-all.

** There’s nothing sexier than watching your husband empty the dishwasher completely unprompted.

** As you get older, surprises are usually of the unwanted kind (e.g., a 3 a.m. bed changing).

** Bare skin and hot ovens do not mix.

**  Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

<< SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK?  LEAVE A COMMENT & TELL ME!!!! >>

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15 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Egehead says:

    My teenage son learned not to cook without a shirt on–spatters hurt!

  2. * Kiddos going to blows over Bible stories is a proud parenting moment

    * Playing poker with the kids is a good way to win back their damn allowance money! (and, apparently, SAFER than Bible stories)

    * Instead of troops, we should just send popcorn and ice cream to the Middle East–popcorn and ice cream ends ALL battles

    * The greatest joy in the world is realizing the clothes in the dryer are NOT dry–giving me 30 more minutes to find an excuse NOT to fold them right away!!!

  3. I’m learning all about the hard-boiled egg thing this morning. :s

  4. I love the grocery store one! LMAO! Hmmm what have I learned this week?

    *A constipated child can ruin a perfectly good Saturday
    *A little dirt never hurt
    *My bed is, apparently, the catchall for random toys
    *The baby’s idea of fun (ie: blood curdling screams with his newfound “voice”; playing in puke before I can get there to clean it up) doesn’t quite match up with mine

  5. “A pap smear with a hot poker” – bwhahahaha!

    I learned that 95 degrees humid is no better than 15 degrees and icy. I’m still stuck in the house.

  6. Marta says:

    The first one was the best, hands down.

    I learned that I am spoiled by central air and cannot handle humidity mixed with a crying baby after a 7 hour road trip.

  7. “Taking your kids to the grocery store is like taking a junkie to a crack den.”

    That statement right there is priceless!
    I just wrote about that very same thing on my blog recently!

  8. Mom 4 Real says:

    I learned that pregnant people are too whiny for me, unless I have had two glass of wine, at least.

  9. Jamie says:

    The very important email you don’t need to check one last time — is exactly the flippin’ email you need to read one more nauseating time before hitting send.

  10. First I must tell you, one of the sexiest things my husband can do is empty the freaking dishwasher. Maybe, I’ll text that to him…would that be considered sexting?
    Oh well. This week I have learned that no matter how many times I tell my son not to do it, the bead will end up in his nose. Go figure…..smh

  11. veronicalee says:

    Love this post! How true!

    Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
    Have a nice day!

  12. Patrice says:

    LOVE your website AND your readers comments – OMG I want to hang out with these mommies!

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Thank you so much! I love my readers too — wish we could all get together & drink some wine together! :)

  13. Ria says:

    Hey, just had to stop by your blog and let you know how awesome I think you are.

    New follower from bloggymom,
    Ria

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Why thank you so much, Ria! Really appreciate you stopping by & hope you come back for more of my crazy tales! :)

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