What Kind Of Friend Are You?

To me, a good friend is someone who isn’t afraid to call you out when you look like a complete idiot.  I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be told that I’ve got a huge chunk of spinach in my teeth before I walk around like a jackass all day completely oblivious to all the people pointing and laughing at me.  Unfortunately, though, not everybody’s got a buddy who’s willing to do something like that.  Just ask the poor chick at my gym who was prancing around with toilet paper hangin’ out her drawers last week.

This unfortunate woman had been at the gym for a good forty-five minutes with the unwanted tissue “accessory” dangling over the front of her black workout pants.  That white streamer flappin’ in the breeze was like a friggin’ neon sign in Vegas.  I honestly don’t know how anyone could have missed it, especially her so-called “friends” who had been yapping with her face-to-face repeatedly throughout her workout.

I felt like it was my God-given duty to inform Miss Thang of the piss-soaked paper that was totally ruining her whole Jane Fonda vibe.  But before I could even begin to break the bad news, she got into a ridiculously lengthy convo with one of the trainers, and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.  Each time I thought I could interject, she’d go off on yet another tangent.  I had clearly missed my window of opportunity since I had places to go and people to see.  Besides, it was actually her “friends” who had REALLY let her down.  I don’t think I’d be spilling my innermost secrets to people who can’t even tell me when I’ve inadvertently taken a souvenir from the bathroom.

So, if you happen to be one of my posse, and you’re reading this post, you best be telling me when I get shit stuck where it’s not supposed to be.  Stop me mid-sentence or better yet, just pull it out yourself.  That’s what friends are for.  I got your back — do you have mine????

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8 Responses to What Kind Of Friend Are You?

  1. MamaBennie says:

    I would HOPE people I know would tell me something so important….that shit is embarrassing, and I am sure she just wanted to die when she finally noticed (god knows how long after).

  2. Maybe she’s getting pay back for not helping one of her friends out in the past!

  3. I would SO pull the T.P. from your drawers, sweetie.

  4. John says:

    Forgive me if I’ve told this story here before, but I was in a Panera Bread, stopping before heading to church when an old man came up to me, and quite loudly, asked why I was wearing pants that were split up the back.

    I didn’t know my pants were split up the back.

    He thought I was a young whipper-snapper who was showing off some kind of fashion trend . . . but, apparently, I was wearing pants from my fatter days that I must not have noticed that I ruined when I put them in the pile of clothes that “I’ll never ever wear again because I’m too fat.”

    I was feeling GREAT that day because they fit (and, though the reason seems obnoxiously obvious now, well-ventilated).

    He at least started speaking in a whisper in describing how badly the pants were ripped and in reminding me that there was a Target in the shopping center.

    • nuckingfutsmama says:

      Yikes! At least you ran into a stranger who was willing to go out on a limb for you though….

  5. Ally says:

    Oh I hope my friends have my back! Because that IS what friends are for!

  6. teachermum says:

    I found you through bloggymoms and look forward to following you. I had a good laugh reading some of your blog posts.
    I too had a son that had heavy bags because they were full of rocks…beware – he will grow up and have a heavy school bag full of lost and forgotten items, uneaten sandwiches and letters you needed to read before they got crumpled.


  7. jane says:

    this is too funny! how embarrassing!

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