Things I’ve Learned This Week

** Whoever invented “New Math” is an asshole.

** Parents should get a big friggin’ cut of their kid’s lemonade stand profits.  Just sayin’.

** It’s Friday the 13th, so I should probably watch out for tall, creepy men wearing hockey masks in the woods.

** My son’s backpack weighs 400 pounds thanks to the ginormous rock collection he’s keeping in there.

** There’s a “Know-It-All Mom” in every single crowd.

** Unfortunately for me, my daughter prefers drama with a side of drama for dinner.

** I should really start collecting all the millions of pounds that my Gmail account keeps telling me I’ve won.

** My second grade son knows more about geography than I do.

** It cost NINETY friggin’ dollars to fill up the tank of my car.

** I need to start saddling up Goatdog for carpooling purposes.

** Mother Nature is evidently menopausal — one minute she’s hot; the next minute she’s cold.

** Every day at 3:15, I become a walking, talking coat rack.

** Broken records have got nothing on me.

** Skinny Girl Margarita?  Not a fan.  Not at all.  In fact, ick.

** Wednesday is a double sports bra day at boot camp.  Please remind me of this next week.

** It’s much easier to have a conversation with someone when you know just what the hell he’s talking about.

** I’ve seen one too many skid marks in my time (and I’m not talking about the kind on the road either).

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

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10 Responses to Things I’ve Learned This Week

  1. Lizzard72 says:

    -your little one will get sick the day you have everything going on.
    -elmo is a godsend in keeping said toddler happy
    -whining will send you running for real wine 🙂

  2. Jen says:

    -Our sons have way too much in common. Rocks, taking over for Steve Jobs, moms who are one step from the edge…
    -Almost $50 to fill my minivan. When we finally DO move, I’m walking to IL.
    -Ma Nature had a nervous breakdown in CO this week; mid 80s one day, heavy snow the next. Sick of it.
    -Skinny Girl margarita is an insult to tequila.

  3. Know it all moms are ANNOYING, as well as that one PTA mom that is the asshat principal’s cheerleader.
    A older woman I work with said a bitch at 16, 30, or 60 is still a bitch, a bitch is a bitch!

    & next time you go for mexican ask them for a skinny girl margarita – they don’t use the Bethenny mix, and it’s delish and only 150 calories!

  4. Becky says:

    -Using WordPress instead of Blogger was at least one good decision I made in this lifetime.

    -My son will chose Burger King if we ask him where he would like to have his birthday dinner.

    -The clusterf*ck that takes place after the Burger King revelation will make for one sucktastic Friday evening.

  5. Stephanie says:

    I think I am either in love or have found my lost twin!!!!

  6. Kelli says:

    ** I’m a force NOT to be messed with in the pharmacy line at the grocery store by dumb bitches with the nerve to tell me I can’t take my cart (and my 3 year-old) through the line!

    Oh sorry! Can I say bitches here?!

    Guess I learned a few other things but this one was the most fun. 😉

  7. John says:

    Pssst, on Wednesday, it’s a two sport bra kind of day.

    I learned that thinking “no, he won’t put that in hi mouth” is not sufficient to keep that something out of his mouth.

  8. Kimberly says:

    I learned that when your teenage son tells you that you don’t want to know, he’s right.

    And

    A freaking keyboard with all the letters rubbed off is far moreefficient that one with a stupid spacebar that only worksrandomly.

  9. Stacia says:

    Road trips = germs. Every. Single. Time.

    (Visiting from Stuff Kids Write. Nice to “meet” you!)

  10. Steph says:

    Vacation with a 16 month old is not very relaxing. I need a vacation from my vacation now.

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