Author Archives: mama2point0

Things I've Learned This Week

** A splinter in your bra does not make for happy boobs. ** The inventor of summer camp deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. ** There’s a reason for that whole “dog chewing the slippers” stereotype.  Just ask my Uggs. ** … Continue reading

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Sometimes KIDS Know Best

I realize that I’ve pretty much done nothing but moan and groan over the past two weeks with the hubby being out of town for so frickin’ long.  Can I help it, though, if my fairy godmother decided to go … Continue reading

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Bad Dog

I gotta tell ya that it was pretty darned nice to have a small little break from the demon dog over this past weekend.  Luckily, our neighbors are always more than willing to have him stay with them when we … Continue reading

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A Miracle on Wheels

For our family road trips to be uneventful, it would take nothing less than a damn miracle on earth.  Seriously, put the Nucking Futs Family in a car, and you’ve got yourself some serious drama on wheels.  And I guaran-frickin’-tee … Continue reading

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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

My husband says I’m a marketer’s dream.  (Guess it’s a good thing I married someone in advertising then, huh?)  I’m a total impulse buyer and can be so easily swayed by the so-called “promises” of a product.  Perhaps that’s why … Continue reading

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Things I've Learned This Week

** Summer break is the equivalent of a homefront civil war. ** August is a REALLY long way away. ** Babysitters make everything better. ** If I had a penis, it would be a “ginormous” one, according to my son … Continue reading

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A Shitty Day At The Beach

Yesterday was a day when I needed much more than just an IV of caffeine.  Hell, what I needed was more like a damn IV of margaritas!  Cause yesterday?  Well, yesterday was pretty freaking sucky.  Any time that sandy poo … Continue reading

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The Furniture Salesman

Have u met my family room sofa?  You know, that one whose piping is poking out the edges, whose cushions are covered with water stains and whose edges are all frayed along the skirt?  Yes, I’m talking about the one … Continue reading

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Did I Say That?

There are many phrases that instantaneously fly out of my mouth at this point in my life that I never ever thought I’d hear.  And yeah, I blame it ALL on parenting.  Cause kids?  They just constantly do weird shit.  … Continue reading

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Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Ya know, I’ve had to put up with a LOT of shit as a mom — catching puke with my bare hands, getting my dress flipped up in the middle of a crowded bank, and even having to scrub a … Continue reading

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